Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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