He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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