I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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