At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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