There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
