A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
