It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
