How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
