I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
