just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
