and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
