i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
there is puke in my bra ... again
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