Yo dont text me then not text me
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
she told me i tasted like america
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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