It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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