When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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