a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
