i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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