No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
