i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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