This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I think I am morally bankrupt
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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