They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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