Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
