your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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