Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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