Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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