just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
