I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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