We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
