Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
