Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
