No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
