Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
