North Korea, Best Korea!
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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