If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
