I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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