Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
