I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
i think i just naturally attract stoners
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
