do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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