Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i wish my penis had a tongue
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
