nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
