We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
