your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
