I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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