i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
so much tequila, so little girl.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize
