to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
