I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
