Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
