i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
