So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
