Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
