somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
